I've been asked more times than I can count what it feels like to be a mom. Answering that question seems like describing what a seashell is like - There's an infinite amount of unique experiences to behold & each day brings new beauty to be discovered. Some moments are raw & broken, others are simple & wonderful, but without a doubt, each moment is intricately designed by God.
Four and a half months with this little boy have felt like no time & forever. Motherhood feels like so many different things & I think it's only meant to change with time, but I wrote this when Ezra was just five weeks new and want to share it with you.
Motherhood. It's sacrifice; physically, mentally, spiritually. Sleep seems like merely a concept rather than a reality at times. A good night's sleep was once defined by uninterrupted hours of rest, but now I grab a couple hours when I can, at the liberty of another's basic needs.
It's dependency; I've always been an independent, (prideful) go-getter, but there's a daily realization that I can't do this alone. The physical & emotional support from Seth is crucial, craved. The love, encouragement, & help from others is an overwhelming blessing. It really does take a village, but more than anything it takes depending on God to provide what I need with each new experience.
It's failure; making mistakes & learning from them, trial & error, exposure to my brokenness and sin is brought out in microscopic detail in this season.
It's grace; knowing that we have a gracious God, who makes three hours of sleep seem like a light years difference to an hour and a half, who made my body so that I feel more love for Ezra every time I feed him through the release of oxytocin.
It's protection; the instinct I have to care & protect my family, & the fleeting moments of each precious day.
It's simplicity; like accomplishing next to "nothing" in a given day & the fact that it's totally okay if all I do in a day is change diapers, feed Ezra, do a load of laundry, & make a sandwich.
It's joy; the most pure thing I have ever experienced. When Ezra looks at me with his giant grin, I could cry & laugh & dance all at once. My full heart bursts with love for this little one.
A huge thanks to Taylor for capturing this sweet moments of Ezra and I in our daily routine. PS - Scroll to the bottom for my nursery source list :).
Wall Color: Valspar Sleek Gray // Crib: Babyletto Hudson & Similar // Sheets: Quick Zip // The Lone Pine Art Print: Daniel Tom // Constellations Art Print: Paper Source // Changing Pad: Keekaroo // Marble Side Table: Target (Similar) // Eames Chair (Similar) // Curtains: Pier One // French Pipe Curtain Rod: Target // Pirate Ship: Hampton Nautical // Salt Lamp: Amazon // Air Plant: The ZEN Succulent // Isaiah Verse Print: Sage Paper Co.